Feeling Bad Stinks

Hello My Friends, Hope each of you are enjoying the weekend.

Covid, is evidently kind of a big deal for many. It has been kicking my butt and hoping I am slowly making some improvement. A little hesitant to say that. My last writing I had covid and was feeling better. That changed! Friday was awful.

That evening things seemed to be getting worse. Sleeping that night was almost impossible. I got up at one point, was struggling to breath and coughing way too much. I had a terrible thought in the middle of the night. I thought Natalie is going to have to take me to the hospital. Struggling to breathe was getting a little scary. I thought, they will check me in, everything will get worse, Natalie will not see me again, and I will die!!!

I totally realize death is a part of life. I have realized since getting diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor that at some point my life will end. Have been so grateful to be given extra time to walk through that process. For several hours Friday night, I started thinking that was going to be taken away from me because of Covid. It’s Sunday afternoon, I am still here, and doesn’t look like Covid is going to end my life. I know many of you have had a much different experience with loved ones and friends.

I continue to learn many things in this process of still living.

There are so many experiences it is hard to understand until you or I have walked through it with ourselves or someone we love. So many people have an opinion about something, but if you visit with them they have never experienced what they feel so strongly about. I believe it is important to be careful with things that we are so opinionated about, and it is truly just an opinion.

Even experiencing something personally I am reminded, it doese’t make that the same experience others have had. My years in ministry and counseling I began to learn as people shared their stories, they had experiences that often were not the exact same as mine. It was never real helpful for me to listen, make a judgement and explain to them how their experience was unhealthy or simply wrong.

My brain tumor and the last several days of Covid kicking my butt continue to teach me. Life is this amazing, beautiful and very special walk. That same walk will present some challenges and painful experiences. Living well in no way means you and I will not experience some, discomfort, pain and experiences that often simply make no sense.

For me each day I get to choose, “how is my life!” I continue to choose life is good. It is a blessing and each day there are good things for me to focus on. My wife, children, grandchildren, family and friends make today a beautiful day to be alive!!!

Covid stinks, but it still reminds me that we are each, “Loved and of Great Value.”